Chalked Iron

So I have posted here before about the tshirts that I designed while I blogged during my F.A.P. / rectal cancer diagnoses and surgery hell and how it turned into this awesome brand called chalked iron. Well turns out my business partner (Damon Gochneaur) was the shaddy douche bag I expected for awhile. Had to lock him out of twitter to investigate weird messages and free shirts popping up on the threads. Then came across where he claimed it was a Texas company (when it is not, it is a Delaware company) and gift certificates on sites. Shit I never even knew about. Since he did all the merchandise shipping he was basically ripping me off.

After he got butt hurt he was locked out of twitter for a whole fucking day while investigation was going on he decided to change all password to the business’ webhost and start funding all transactions into a bogus gmail account ( and refusing to discuss any of it because I called him a dick. Maybe because he is. I knew he was shaddy when I worked with him at GR and I guess this is a life lesson, a life lesson that is going to cost a pretty penny for an attorney to sue his ass. I own 50% of this business and am the primary owner on the LLC and according to the state so I guess it is in my favor. You can’t embezzle funds from a company, it is a felony offense and fraud. So please, don’t order from chalked iron. If you want a shirt I am printing my designs on my new brand hopefully once my kickstarter account goes live. buying a shirt goes into this asshole’s pocket and I see none of the funds. Sad since I paid extra to print the latest tank tops. Buying shirts don’t go towards the taxes he is supposed to pay but hasn’t so my credit is fucked, buying shirts supports a fraud, buyins shirts doesn’t help pay my cleveland clinic visits, health insurance and my copays, buying shirts is a kick to my gut basically since I own them all and see none of the money. But please feel free to remember his name. If you want to guarantee a shirt will get shipped to you, visit my blog first week of June for the link to my new kick ass brand that isn’t all about kettlebells. My brand is a neat brand that reaches everyone.


Getting my rear in gear or shall I say guts in check

So first comes first :Get your rear in gear: made me their face of blue for March 9th. I knew it was coming up since I talked to them back and forth for a few weeks prior. Anyway, here is the link. Not much is different from my intro to this blog with some added notes.

I feel like reading that makes it sound easy. Like I got the bad stuff out and I am good to go. The hell is what you go through AFTER cancer. Cancer was the easy part! Bone tumors, polyps, more polyps, more tumors, more dysplasia, cysts, desmoids, bleeding guts, pouchitis, cdiff, you name it, pure hell.

I am still sick. I will be really shocked if my iron and blood is normal with an upcoming tests Friday at Cleveland Clinic. I bleed so much now and my pouch feels like it is battery acid. My stomach cramps are really bad. Shen thinks I have cdiff, I hope someone sees something because I am very sick and I am tired of doctors not helping me whenever I have an issue because everything “looks” normal. I am doubled over in pain, my valve twists and turns and it feels like acid is literally burning the inside of my guts. It smells like a small child died inside me and I have blood in my tube and running down my legs when I take a shit. I even have pools of blood and mucus in my stoma covers. OBVIOUSLY there is something wrong here.

In case it was cdiff I took some flagyl for a day then thought I can’t do this, I can’t mask what I have so this scope shows clean again so decided to not take any more. I refuse to leave Cleveland Clinic until I am diagnosed, fixed and don’t feel like the walking dead. I just hope it is nothing so severe they say my pouch has to go. I can’t imagine having another one made. I can’t afford the time off or do I have the mental stability to go through another 30 day hospital stay with 6 months to a year to get back on my feet.

Maybe I have cancer, but wouldn’t my blood work show that ? One would assume.

Also this time change shit. I bitch about it every year but this really needs to fucking stop. I am dead tired, I sleep maybe 4-5 hours  a night. It doesn’t help being sick. I doubt stupid politicians give a fuck that it wrecks lives.

I can’t work out. I tried to do a snatch in my living room thinking I can do the CF 13.1 open. Yea the bar almost fell on my head, no energy or strength. I did maybe 10 33 pound push presses and called it a day. My arms and body hurt everywhere. My spine feels like my intestines grew thousand of rose thorns and leeched onto my rib cage, lungs, kidney, spine and soft tissue.

2.5 more days of work then some magic in Cleveland hopefully happens. I don’t really count the days them selves since the road trip alone means I am almost there. It is so hard to work when life is this rough. But ya got to pay bills!

FAP mentioned in the latest TIME Magazine

I just found out that Familial Adenomatous Polyposis is mentioned in the Dec 24th, 2012 edition of Time Magazine. Must go out and get it tomorrow! Please, everyone else read it as well. All kids should be gentically tested. I know their is arguement on the new possibility of the test that searches for many mutations and diseases in kids and parents don’t want to know. SCREW YOU. If you have FAP you will die with a colon in you by 40. If your kid is screened and knows years before, surgical options are an abundance. Not so much once you have cancer.



Paleo Links

I really hate saying I am on a Paleo diet. I don’t think the SCD is the way to go since their use of dairy boggles the brain. I never had pouchitis but I battle small bowel bacteria overgrowth that forms in the gut so people ask what diet to follow. I bet 90% of Americans have small bowel bacteria overgrowth but don’t know it. If you are eating processed food and sugar, most likely you do have it but that colon of yours makes it easier to live with.


Here are some links to check out.

recipe sites

Rebecca Babcock’s docu-drama

Join me for the Minneapolis viewing of Rebecca Babcock’s docu-drama. This is her journey, thoughts and poetry while battling colon cancer and our shared rare disease, FAP. Her story is my story. Lush original score as well.

Suggested minimum donation of $10.00 at the door.
7 pm doors open- light finger foods.
7:20 1st showing.

9:15 2nd showing.

If you can’t attend- please send any donations possible to:

The Colon Club
Chris Wills
150 Dartmouth Dr.
Canfield, OH 44406
Write “VISITOR” in the memo!

Donations at their Website as well- indicate “VISITOR” on special instructions area.

We need to raise funds to get this ready for film festivals. This story needs to be told.

I am doing a 5k, BITCHES!

I signed up for the Undy 5k and I have my blue boxer, blue knee high compression socks and some new KICKS to have some fun!

Please donate to my team or if you live in Dallas feel free to join it and watch me attempt to run a 5k .I can barely run a 1k lol!!!

I wanted to do this last year but it was right after I got diagnosed and it was an  INSANE time then. The url is below. Spread it around, join up, etc.

My Cleveland Clinic Experience

I was eating dinner  in this horrible diner when I felt the severe depression and anxiety kick in. I got into my hotel room, crying at the door to get in with my broken key card. I felt like I was just going to collapse on the floor and have a hysterical crying fit. “this is my life” is all I could think. You want to punch your pouch and guts out of your body so bad but you can maybe just punch yourself a few times, shower then sit down to work on some website design for a client.

My day was hopeless today just when I felt full of hope on Tues after I saw Dr. Bo Shen (the pouch guru). My pouch looks perfect of course but why do I keep getting bacteria overgrowth? Even though I feel my trip was poorly planned by me and a waste of time and someone else’s cash who donated this trip to me since I am very poor. I can’t think this is wasted. What was done was at least more than others have done. I just need more doctors, once again. This disease has an ugly face and it shows to much.
I wanted to see if I could get my digestive tract under control and the pain. The pain is most likely from FAP or the BCIR itself since it can cause more mechanical issues than that Kpouch I was told. At least for people with FAP since well we are open to more cysts, desmoids and FAP causes a lot of pain to begin with. I was told to start taking Lactoluse Solution USP in combination with my usual antibiotic. It has helped my pouch actually work since it has a mild laxative. It is nice to have things digest and move along but I have to balance it with how much I take and my antibiotic. I might be on antibiotics for life. I do not have pouchitis but I have bacteria overgrowth (not the same thing). Most likely stemming from my stomach sleeve gastrectomy . Everyone who has weight loss surgery should have an upper and lower scope. It should be mandatory. I might one day face a whipple surgery that could kill me due to my stomach surgery. I am also more sick now that I lost a colon and most of the stomach.

I wrote a lot more in this section but it seems that WordPress has eaten my post so I will try to write what I had but maybe not as much since it was a lot and I am already burned out on typing.

I have to go back to See J. Cheng, the pain management doctor who is the best. Shen tried to kill the nerves in my ex-rectal area but it wasn’t enough so I need to block the nerves in the spinal area. Pain blockers. These are nothing new and I was told I should try it with my IC as well so maybe this is a sign. I have a ton of cysts in my buttock area where the rectum was removed that is causing me pain. Gardner’s Syndrome causes pain.

I met all walks of life. I sat next to a women who wore the same green gown as me and waited patiently with her caregiver/interpreter for her MRI as well. She had wide eyes and seemed genuinely interested in us loud Americans. With her legs crossed and face resting on her hand, I explored her hands since those tell age the best. She seemed like a young teenager but her hands show mid 50-60’s I think. I couldn’t tell much since most of her face was burned and covered with a head wrap. She intrigued me, I wanted to know her story.

Cleveland Clinic is full of all walks of life. The very wealthy Sheiks, the women in full Burkas, Muslims with full out fashion that might need of been policed 🙂 The doctors from Russia, Germany, France, India, China, etc. The science that was in those walls. The video installations and live Jazz music playing. My Funny Valentine was being performed while I went to walk over to the other CC building on campus that is the home of Colorectal and GI Disease . I met with Lisa in the Hereditary and Genetic Colon Cancer FAP registry. I learned about all of the different types of Colon Cancer Genetic diseases. And here I thought it was just LYNCH, MYH and FAP. The names I was told are a lot but I will look up the info and post. I think I heard over 10 different names and the list could have gone on. I felt like I knew so little after that alone was mentioned. They also have a program where you can donate your body at the CC. I can donate my body for FAP research and that is all I have ever wanted to do. I can’t just piece my organs out for life when research can save way more.

I didn’t get to experience Michael Simon’s restaurant but maybe when I go back I can. I am going to try to drive through and see other doctors on my path to leaving this dreadful part of the US, called Texas. I am sick here and miserable. I am by far, better not being here and that alone is priceless.