I will never understand other people’s illnesses or anything actually that I have just not experienced. What I wish I could do is get over the phantom “limb” rectum syndrome. I watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and it was about phantom limb and she felt like she was losing her mind, night terrors, pain, etc. Same shit but mine isn’t a limb. I lost a long ass tube and the exit that goes with it. Having a barbie butt (asshole sewn) is really not fun. I don’t give a fuck who loves it, they are lying. When you squat, stretch, etc. You have that feeling that “HEY YOUR ASS IS SEWN SHUT, NO STRETCH.”
Someone messaged me on FB who is recovering in the Palms after getting their BCIR and asked if I had certain things going on down there like sores, or pimples I believe. I had to think back to last year when I had this surgery. I remember after 20 days you are allowed to shower. That is the first time I ever washed my ass basically. At that time it was like a drawstring bag. Only way I can really describe it. Puffed out and just what you picture is what I had. Now that area is just a lump. Sort of like a corset is sewn shut.
First time I took a shower and touched at non-rectum area I almost passed out. A Nurse blew it off as I just hadn’t showered in awhile and the motions blah blah blah. No, I know my body and I pretty much almost passed out in the shower and had to sit on the stool that was provided really quick. The constant dreams I have of stupid stuff like taking a shit like a normal person or farting really mentally fucks with you. I get flutters in that area when I have gas in my pouch. If my pouch is super full it feels like I have to take a shit like I have a colon. A lot of ostomates say years out they have this and the only relief they get is from sitting on the toilet and pushing like you are taking a shit.