Getting sick makes you poor

I once could afford to lease bad ass cars and buy designer shoes. I lost that awhile ago. I believe even with my 40hr to 80k annually temp jobs I have worked this year when I was able to, I only made 17k. Not even enough to file UE. I can’t really bitch about the economy like others because I am more disgusted with the medical community. The workforce has changed, got to adapt. I am trying to think of how I can downsize since my husband is the one making the money, I am not the bread winner anymore and his salary is not much. The GI bill saves our ass right now to barely make rent. 3 more months of this lease and we can downgrade. Surrendering my car has been on my mind, it is a very large payment my dad helps out with some of but not able to pay my health insurance on time some months is far more stressful. I believe I apply for 10 jobs a day, when in NYC I applied to at least 50-100. Since I am now not there I have less options. Dallas has a horrible job market I am not sure why I thought it was good here. Oh,..right a guy who told me I couldn’t beat cancer if I didn’t believe in god told me it was a fucking BOOMING market.

So a repo on my credit is sad but I am sure many can relate. The car is only in my name but I am sure it will still effect my husband’s credit since this country lumps marriages together, even our credit, how unfair land of the free. Since I have 0% interest my bank can’t work with me. Tried telling them either you get some money or none but they don’t give a shit, that is just a write off to them. Can’t refinance a car either since I have no income.

I am not sure how my career tanked so hard. I went from working on big brands to applying for jobs that are beneath me. I can’t apply for most jobs that require me to stand, that isn’t happening. I need to bring in at least 3-4k a month like I once did to financially hold up my side of the bills and that is stressful.

It is also pretty pathetic when you see people land jobs that have horrible books. I don’t get how they even land work. They suck. But I need full time job, I can’t afford to freelance anymore. I need benefits, especially back up insurance in case one day I lose the one I have. I would be on death row, literally.

I can’t take a job out of the country, something I am debating without a career or anything to get me by in life because of my stupid disease.  There needs to be more financial support for people like me, to have more business grants otherwise maybe a chapter 13 is in my near future. It isn’t east to reinvent yourself when you just don’t have it in you. I am usually a strong leader but right now I am taking a back seat and just need to make money.

If my disease doesn’t kill me the stress will. I am sure it doesn’t help my esophogitis and that will turn into cancer if I don’t get that under control. total catch-22.

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