2013 Colondar model

Well I am sending off my application to be a 2013 Colondar model. It is basically a Calender of Colon or Rectal Cancer survivors. http://www.colonclub.com/the-2012-colondar/


Yesterday was a hard day. Thanks to some honest words about this long recovery time I feel like I can pick my face off the floor. I guess it is ok to cry, hell I cry at other people suffering, I cried watching shopgirl last night, I cry at commercials, at my flowers dying since I don’t have one green thumb. I cry constantly. Big bag of depression and emotions. I went to see my urologist yesterday and it is amazing how everyone says I look so good and composed. Did nobody in that office see I park in a handicap spot and shuffle my feet to walk? The pain should be read just by looking at my face or my eyes. Just because we don’t look sick doesn’t mean we aren’t. In my case recovering, not as much being sick unless you call a genetic disease being sick. I want to think I am in recovery unless FAP strikes again.


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