I don’t get it. If you aren’t good at listening or caring WHY be a nurse? I understand people are miserable at work and hate what they do but seriously people this is where you NEED to love your job, you are taking care of people that are in pain, scared, etc.


I am a few days out from the polyps removal to test out the “cancerous” looking mess to a real fucked up bladder. I can’t handle catheters, I sure as shit can’t take adult ones. Morphine makes me retain something fierce and freaks my IC bladder out. So I asked for a catheter but said I must have a child size.. NOOOOOOO lets not listen to Vanessa. Instead lets go and shove a tube up there, only to have the wrong hole, grab another nurse and take two. THEN lets move it while it is in the bladder a few times so it feels as if needles are tearing my bladder apart. After it was all done I was then told that I can only have a catheter every 6 hours. WTF is that shit? Who even says that to someone with IC who on a bad day can pee every 5 minutes or if in a flare sometimes every minute. So I cried because what else can you do after this horror show was over? Did they care? Fuck no.


I am meeting with my Uro tomorrow to go over some master plan for my big surgery since I refuse to go through this again and I can’t be cathed and there is no other option after this surgery. To epiderul or not… Over all this crap.


After that appointment I have to meet with my new Neuro surgeon to talk about this mini (almost) brain tumor. Least of my concerns. I want my bladder to not feel like there is a knife in it and be able to pee a normal stream with some sort of force.



n i g h t m a r e…


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