I leave for Jax Sunday and come home Wed. Maybe a small trip will help even if it is for court. MD Anderson called me back after I broke down and told them I AM NOT JUST A STATISTIC on the phone to this lovely admin there. I believe the woman I was dealing with who is far from nice got yelled at. OF course they said Oct 17th when I am out of town. I asked to please find me somethig after the 21st since I come back on the 19th and the 20th I meet with a surgeon here that does the Kpouch.
I was never given many options and lately I am finding out about the BCIR, Kpouch and TPouch. These are options that people say are a high-risk failure procedure but more I talk to people who have them, they aren’t. I am still going in for the JPouch but if something doesn’t go right (and I refuse to live with a permanent external bag). Perhaps these are options, options I have been ROBBED of since nobody told me. I could have gone into surgery next month not knowing about them. Surgeons and doctors that don’t mention these just to give you a quick fix surgery, plain ‘ol SUCK BALLS. I just with the JPouch could be done in a one step surgery. I am so burned out that more surgery is just exhausting.
So far I see a surgeon today that is ranked one of the top 1% in colon rectal surgery, tomorrow with an oncologist then next week the Kpouch surgeon followed on the 24th by my current surgeon, the one I do not want to stay with and booked surgery with. Then that following day with a Neurosurgeon for this small brain tumor, that is nothing really and according to my doctor if we gave everyone scans we’d show a lot more people walking around with these. Still doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy.
My mom wired me money to get my hair cut and dyed. I love that people with breast cancer can get their wigs styled and cut by people. What about the people who aren’t going through chemo yet, are broke and just need to feel better about themselves. Why is the color pink cool? I want to paint the world blue. I guess ass cancer is not sexy. My hair is out of control dry and frizzy, unmanageable and the roots are about 2 inches I swear. Taking it down to my natural color and cutting a good 2 inches off. If they tell me chemo later on it won’t matter anyway so might as well start cutting now and try to feel pretty since I feel miserable and starting to look it.